A Good Person

I want so desperately to be a good person. I want to follow God and do His will. But, I get distracted (and that it saying it nicely). I want to be sober and be a shining example of God's love. But, I get stuck somehow. I don't even remember taking my first drink today. But, now I'm really suffering from the effects of alcohol. I know I drank. There is a good chance I've really messed up my work. I'll find out later. I have to confess to Erin that I've messed up. That is terrifying. What is wrong with me? Help me Lord.