Saturday, July 5, 2008

Submit Yourself & Mind Blown

(Originally Written July 5, 2008)

James 4:7-8 "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts you double-minded".

If the universe is ever expanding then the light we see of a star that is 1 million light years away what we are actually seeing is the light of the start was when it was shining closer to earth a million years ago. We never see a star, just a star's past. We will never see a star's future and we won't ever see the star's present unless we get close enough to it and by that point we'd be so close we would burn up and not see at all. Mind blown.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Brave New World/Brave New World Revisited

Goodreads Review:

I prefer Brave New World to 1984. The story is much more gripping than Orwell's classic. That said, the "resisted" part of the book seemed a bit too-self congratulatory. Huxley's analysis and emphasis on over-population sort of overwhelms his message at times. However, his critique of Big Business and Big Government controlling too much power and influence for a democracy to thrive in is prophetic and his notions of a non-violent totalitarian state seems entirely plausible in the early 21st century.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A prayer for direction

(Originally Written June 11, 2008 in the Journal)

Oh Lord God Almighty, blessed is your name. Thank you for all you have bestowed upon me and for what you have seen fit to take away. Lord I am scared. I am terrified of my surroundings. I have no one here to comfort me. It is not good for man to be alone and yet, I am desperately alone.

I wish only to serve you. I know that if New Horizons is offered to me I must take it. Lord I am called to you. I am only fulfilled in your service. I know this; I feel it in my bones. But, if I take the New Horizons position I may lose my wife forever. I may not, but I fear it.

Lord if you want me at New Horizons, open the door. If you don't then shut it. I will follow wherever you lead me. Show me the path and I will follow in faith. Bless me in this decision to follow you. I have failed so often on my own and am tired and weary. Give me the strength and courage to follow you. Hear my prayers and answer me. Please do not turn your face from me. Look upon me with mercy and grace for I seek you. I seek you all day and night. Seek me too Lord, I beg of you.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Brief Notes on Tobit

(Originally Written June 10, 2008 in the Journal)

This will be the first time I've read the Book of Tobit. To be honest, I'm pretty excited because I'm reading a part of the Bible I've never read before. True, the Protestant faith does not hold it to be inspired or canonical. But, it is in the Bible I have in front of me and Augustine, whom I respect deeply, quotes it.

The Book of Tobit was written in the 2nd century BC

Notes on The Book of Tobit

Chapter 1

Tobit (meaning YHWH is good) was the son of Tobiel (meaning God is good). Tobeil was the son of Hannaniel (God is merciful) and was of the tribe of Naphtali.

His family was deported from Samaria when Shalmanesser, king of Assyria defeated Israel.

Tobit lived in Nineveh. When Tobit lived in Samaria, he continued to worship the Lord in Jerusalem, not committing the sins of Jeroboam.

Tobit married Anna, who bore him a son named Tobiah.

Tobit became important to Shalmanesser in Nineveh because he served the Lord unswervingly.

Tobit purchased for the king and made numerous trips to Media, where he deposited his own money.

Tobit lost everything because he buried some Jews killed by the king.

Chapter 2

Tobit was blinded by bird droppings during the Festival of the Booths.

Chapter 3

Tobit fell into despair and prayed to God for death.

Chapter 4

In Media, Sarah was accused of killing her seven husbands. In reality though, the demon Asmodeus had killed them.

She went to hang herself, but decided not to so as to spare her aging father from shame. Sarah prayed to God to die.

God heard both prayers and send the angel Raphael to answer them both.

Tobit called his son to give him instructions. Tobit instructed Tobiah on how to live a moral life.

Giving to the needy is very important.

Tobit told Tobiah that he had money deposited in Media and that he should go and retrieve it.

Chapter 5

Tobiah enlisted Raphael as his guide to Media, but he did not know Raphael was an angel.

Tobit asked Raphael whose family he was. Raphael replied that he was Azariah, son of Hananiah (a member of Tobit's own family).

Tobiah and Raphael left Nineveh for Media.

Chapter 6

The two camped at the Tigris River for the night. A large fish attacked Tobiah and he called for help. Raphael told Tobiah to pull the fish ashore and he did so. Raphael told him to cut out the gall, heart and liver because they were good medicines.

The heart, if you burn it around a person afflicted by a demon will cause the demon to leave it. The gall, if you rub it on a man's eyes who is blind will cause the man to see again.

Raphael told Tobiah that it was his right to marry Sarah as he was the closest relative. Tobiah objected because he knew the demon who had killed her seven previous husbands.

Raphael told him to burn the fish liver and heart and pray before having intercourse with her and the demon would be driven away. "But do not be afraid, for she was set apart for you before the world existed" (Tobit 6:18, New American Bible).

Chapter 7

Tobiah and Raphael met Raguel, the father of Sarah. Raguel rejoiced when he learned Tobiah was Tobit's son and wept when he learned of Tobiah's blindness.

Tobiah and Sarah were married by Raguel according to the Law of Moses.

Chapter 8

Tobiah did as Raphael told him and the demon fled into the desert. Raphael pursued him and bound him. When Tobiah did not die Raguel threw a wedding feast for fourteen days.

Chapter 9

Tobit sent Raphael to continue to get the money. Raphael met Gabael and retrieved the money. He brought Gabael to Tobiah to join the wedding feast.

Chapter 10

Tobiah's parents became very anxious when he did not return home. Tobiah and Sarah then left to return to the house of Tobit.

Chapter 11

Tobiah smeared the fish gall on his father's eyes and it burnt. He then pulled off the cataracts so that Tobit could see.

Tobit blessed the Lord for giving him his sight back.

Tobit learned of his son's marriage and rushed out to meet his daughter-in-law. When the people saw him walking without a guide they were amazed.

Chapter 12

Tobit and Tobiah decided to pay Raphael half of all the wealth he had brought back. Raphael extolled them to be righteous and revealed that he was an angel. Then Raphael ascended into heaven.

Chapter 13

Tobit became old and told Tobiah to flee Nineveh with his family because Nineveh was to be destroyed as predicted in Nahum.

Tobit died and was buried. When Tobiah's mother died she was buried next to Tobit.

Tobiah left Nineveh and settled in Media with Raguel.

Tobiah lived to 117 years old. He saw the destruction of Nineveh by the Babylonians and then he died.

Brief Notes on City of God - Book III

(Originally Written June 10, 2008 in the Journal).

Notes on City of God, Book III
Augustine

Book III

We must be especially on guard against evils that affect the character and mind.

The Romans worshipped their gods to secure the insignificant and deceptive happiness of this world; but where were those gods when their worshippers suffered the ills of this world?

A Bitter Prayer

(Originally Written June 10, 2008 in the Journal)

Lord, you are Holy and Grand. All things are yours for you have created all. Your works are known in every heart though they are only acknowledged as your works by few. Yet you extend your love to all. How merciful is the Lord of lords, the true and only God?

Lord you know my heart and mind. It is plain to you that I suffer and am in agony. There is no secret between us. How could I hide anything from you? The sins and temptations of the flesh are numerous in me. Though I am forgiven, I am still culpable. Lord forgive me of these sins and remove this self-destructive desire from my heart. I want to seek you fully.

Lord I do not know what you want me to do. I have a wife who no longer wants to be my wife. She has mistreated me and abused me. Lord, I do not wish vengeance or retribution. What I wish is for a reuniting that is pleasing to you and a love that is a witness to the glory of the Lord.

Heavenly Father I made a vow to love and cherish this woman for all of my days. I did not seek to break that vow. It is in your power to soften her heart to me. It would be an easy thing for you. Only the soft whisper of your voice would change it all. I ask with all of my heart and soul that you would have mercy on us and reignite this union. Grant us a happy, fulfilling marriage that is glorifying to you.

Lord I also ask you make it clear to me your desires for this summer. If New Horizons is where you want me open that door. I will follow you where you lead me. Please open my eyes and ears so I can follow you. I love you Lord. Instruct me in truth and wisdom so I may be upright and blameless in your sight.

The Lord came to me and said, give me your heart. I told Him it was His and I gave it freely - though occasionally it strays, it always returns to Him.

The Lord came to me and said, give me your mind. I told Him it was His and I gave it with no complaint. Though it occasionally wanders, it always returns to pondering the mysteries of the Lord.

The Lord came to me and said, give me your soul. I told Him it was His and I humbled my pride and released it to Him. Though occasionally it serves its own will, it always returns and submits to the will of its true mater, who is the Lord.

The Lord came to me and said give me your body. I told Him it was His and though I paused at the request I gave it. Occasionally my body falls to the temptations of the flesh, but His mercy forgives me of my sins and my body returns to God, to be His temple.

The Lord came to me and said, give me your hopes, dreams and ambitions. I choked on this request. My foolish pride swelled up and rebelled. I went on my own and I failed, again and again. I called out to the Lord and begged for mercy. He spoke to me in His calm, quiet way. He said, give me your hopes, dreams and ambitions and I will give you dreams you cannot even fathom. I will give you endless hope and my ambitions will replace yours. Still this was a hard and bitter pill for me to swallow. But I relented. I gave God my hopes, my dreams and my ambitions. Though I knew I would feel empty without these, the Lord has filled me to the brim. Yes, I admit my sin. That pride I swallowed tends to be regurgitated and the old fights within the glorious new and I falter. But, the new is stronger because it is Christ and I humble myself before the Lord.

The Lord then came to me and said you have given me your heart, your mind, your soul and your body. You have forsaken yourself, the one defiled by sin and death for the gift of everlasting life I have given you. You have bowed to my will. This is good. I am the sovereign Lord and for you to be justified in faith I need your all. Fear seized my body. What more do I have to give?

The Lord said to me, give me your wife, the one you love. Tears streamed from my eyes as if a river had burst a dam. My heart split in two and I fell to the floor in a heap. I prayed to God in fear and a lack of understanding. It was my very God who had joined us, who had fostered this love and now He demanded a sacrifice of it. I offered all else in futility. Still the Lord spoke, give me your wife.

Bitterly and with hesitation I am granting his request. I feel like Abraham must have when the Lord told him to sacrifice Isaac. I do not know if there will be any rams for a substitution for me. But in faith, I trust the lord my God. Trouble has been sitting in wait, pursuing every footstep of mine since I was young. When I stray to the left disaster comes. When I stray to the right calamity comes. When I step back I stumble into strife. When I hesitate and pause I am overtaken by my pursuers. Therefore, I will step forward.

My courage fails me. I am paralyzed in fear. But an inner peace, a peace that passeth all understanding stirs hope in the very depths of my soul. I pray that I do not choke it out with the concerns of my daily life and that I can keep my eyes fixed on that which is eternal. The Lord has a plan for me, though I do not know what it is. May I store up my treasures in heaven, so that I do not fall into sin by loving what I have here to the detriment of my love of God.

Lord look upon me with grace. Though you alone are worthy of my praise and adoration, what you ask of me is great and difficult. I can forsake wealth and honor, these are of no consequence to me. Though I struggle with the sins of the flesh, this is of no real importance. Knowledge I hold in high esteem, but would willingly be considered a fool for you. But to sacrifice this marriage at your feet is a bitter pill to swallow. Her love and acceptance of me was something that I had never known before. Her care for me, even as sparse as it has been recently brought me to new heights. I can endure years of torture and pain, hunger and humiliation just to hear a single kind word from her. Lord what you ask for is great indeed. But if this is what you require of me I give it. Comfort me in your Word. Instruct me in Truth so that I may better serve you.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Brief Notes on Nehemiah

(Originally written June 9, 2008 in the Journal)

Notes on Nehemiah

Chapter 1

Nehemiah learned of the ruin of Jerusalem and prayed to God to be allowed to leave Susa in Persia and rebuild Jerusalem.

Chapter 2

Nehemiah asked King Artaxerxes if he could return to Judah to rebuild Jerusalem. Artaxerxes agreed and sent him on his way.

Nehemiah surveyed the ruins and convinced the Jews to begin rebuilding Jerusalem.

Sanballat the Horomite, Tobiah the Ammonite and Geshem the Arab mocked them for this.

Chapter 3

The Israelites began to rebuild the city of Jerusalem. Tobiah and Sanballut became enraged at this.

Chapter 4

The enemies of Judah became enraged at the rebuilding of the city's walls. The Israelites armed themselves for any onslaught.

Chapter 5

Some Jews cried out to Nehemiah for others were lending them money at interest and forcing them into slavery. Nehemiah became angry and rebuked the lenders.

Chapter 6

When the wall was rebuilt, but the gates had not yet been sealed the enemies of Nehemiah plotted against him. Tobiah sent letters to the prominent Jews in Jerusalem to stir them against Nehemiah.

Chapter 7

The gates were completed and Nehemiah set up watchmen over them. A census was taken of those who lived in Jerusalem.

Chapter 8

"Do not be saddened this day for rejoicing in the Lord must be your strength!"(Nehemiah 8:10, New American Bible)

The people celebrated the Feast of the Booths as they had not celebrated since the time of Joshua.

Chapter 9

God is a God of pardons. He is one who is slow to anger and rich in mercy.
Ezra prayed to the Lord.

Chapter 10

The people agreed to the Law.

Chapter 11

The distribution of people in Jerusalem and throughout Judah

Chapter 12

The walls of Jerusalem were dedicated to the Lord amidst great rejoicing

Chapter 13

The Israelites removed all foreigners from their midst. Nehemiah rebuked the Israelites again for working on the Sabbath and intermarrying with the Ammonites and Moabites.