(Originally Written July 27, 2010 in The Journal)
Read a bit from each of these every day and take notes.
6 Categories
1. Christian - Early Christian Writings
2. Philosophy - The History of Western Philosophy - Bertrand Russell
3. Classics - The Conquest of Gaul - Julius Caesar
4. History - Archeology & The Old Testament - Alfred J. Hoerth
5. Religion - Pocket Guide to World Religions - Winfried Corduan
6. Literature - Contemporary American Poetry
Notes on Early Christian Writings
Clement of Rome
-Strong Trinitarian Language
-Peace flows from obedience to God. Peace brings with it the healing of all human conditions
Notes on The History of Western Philosophy - Bertrand Russell
Philosophy is the product of two things:
1. Inherited religious and ethical conceptions
2. Scientific investigation
Philosophy lies somewhere between theology and science.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Joseph's First Spanish Joke
Originally written July 24, 2010
Joseph's first successful joke in Spanish: You hablo similar a niño porque yo tengo tres años pero entiendo similar a niño que tiene quatro años. The grizzly looking van driver choked out a laugh while two young attractive Dominicans giggled at one another and spoke to one another with a rapidity that was difficult to fathom, let alone understand. A six year old girl asked her mother why a grown man spoke like her baby brother. That got a bigger laugh than Joseph.
Joseph's first successful joke in Spanish: You hablo similar a niño porque yo tengo tres años pero entiendo similar a niño que tiene quatro años. The grizzly looking van driver choked out a laugh while two young attractive Dominicans giggled at one another and spoke to one another with a rapidity that was difficult to fathom, let alone understand. A six year old girl asked her mother why a grown man spoke like her baby brother. That got a bigger laugh than Joseph.
The Saint and His Dog
Originally written July 24, 2010
It would be a funny story to have a group of friends get into a cab while stoned. The guy in the front should be the worst. The dashboard bobbing dog would attack him after he has a telepathic conversation with a saint airfreshner. He retells the story, "and then that cute, little dog of the saint's jumped off the dash and bit my nose. Naturally I screamed. The cabbie jumped out of his skin, got all pissed and kicked us out.
The Saint's Dog
Brown and White
Maybe a bulldog
But looks friendlier with pinkish, rosy cheeks.
Large black pupills with a greyish eye color. Never takes its eyes off me. Makes me nervous.
Gold chain collar, like some cheap Gucci knock off.
I can stare into its stomach because the head isn't attached.
It's long neck sways his head from side to side (eyes still looking at me). Bump. Head nods with the bump.
It's silence makes me nervous. It knows I'm looking at its gutless innards. It doesn't like it.
The Saint suggests I pet it to make it more comfortable. I do it. The Cabbie yells. Saint and dog go silent. I stare intently at the dog's stomach. It bends its head down to block my view. Eyes ever on me. Saint warns me against it. Saint is protected. He's got a sword. I've got nada. Dog growls. I look at the Saint. He is silent. I look at the Cabbie. Cabbie looks at me. "What the hell is your problem". Pause. "I'll kill you if you puke in here. Is he gonna puke cause if he pukes it's all your asses. I swear to God..." Dog jumps off and bites me. I scream. Laughter and confusion in the backseat. Cabbie is swearing and slamming on his breaks. Boys piling out of back seat. Can't get the seat belt undone. Cabbie yelling. Doors open. Seat belt off. I push the dog. Cabbie screams more. Getting pulled out of the car door. Cabbie is swearing at and slapping at me. Dog's growling. Saint yelling to be rescued. I look the Cabbie dead in the eye. Then I look at the dog. The Cabbie protects the hound of hell. I reach in as fast as I can and rescue Saint and his perch. Cabbie swears more. Laughter. Running away. Saint smiles at me Thanks me.
Note from 9/18/19: I'm not sure if this was originally supposed to be a Joseph Flanagan story or not.
It would be a funny story to have a group of friends get into a cab while stoned. The guy in the front should be the worst. The dashboard bobbing dog would attack him after he has a telepathic conversation with a saint airfreshner. He retells the story, "and then that cute, little dog of the saint's jumped off the dash and bit my nose. Naturally I screamed. The cabbie jumped out of his skin, got all pissed and kicked us out.
The Saint's Dog
Brown and White
Maybe a bulldog
But looks friendlier with pinkish, rosy cheeks.
Large black pupills with a greyish eye color. Never takes its eyes off me. Makes me nervous.
Gold chain collar, like some cheap Gucci knock off.
I can stare into its stomach because the head isn't attached.
It's long neck sways his head from side to side (eyes still looking at me). Bump. Head nods with the bump.
It's silence makes me nervous. It knows I'm looking at its gutless innards. It doesn't like it.
The Saint suggests I pet it to make it more comfortable. I do it. The Cabbie yells. Saint and dog go silent. I stare intently at the dog's stomach. It bends its head down to block my view. Eyes ever on me. Saint warns me against it. Saint is protected. He's got a sword. I've got nada. Dog growls. I look at the Saint. He is silent. I look at the Cabbie. Cabbie looks at me. "What the hell is your problem". Pause. "I'll kill you if you puke in here. Is he gonna puke cause if he pukes it's all your asses. I swear to God..." Dog jumps off and bites me. I scream. Laughter and confusion in the backseat. Cabbie is swearing and slamming on his breaks. Boys piling out of back seat. Can't get the seat belt undone. Cabbie yelling. Doors open. Seat belt off. I push the dog. Cabbie screams more. Getting pulled out of the car door. Cabbie is swearing at and slapping at me. Dog's growling. Saint yelling to be rescued. I look the Cabbie dead in the eye. Then I look at the dog. The Cabbie protects the hound of hell. I reach in as fast as I can and rescue Saint and his perch. Cabbie swears more. Laughter. Running away. Saint smiles at me Thanks me.
Note from 9/18/19: I'm not sure if this was originally supposed to be a Joseph Flanagan story or not.
Some Edits of Habitaciones
(Originally written July 24, 2010)
Habitaciones con Banos
Edits from Book 1
Ch. 1
Pg. 1 - Typewriter type? Fix sentence
Pg. 1. - Overuse of the word, "intentional"
Pg. 2 - Name the nook, something in Latin?
Pg. 3 "and at times, the shallows of his soul"
Pg. 4. Give details of the C-Section
- write a story for the foul mouthed Italian nurse
Pg. 8 The unquenchable emotions were quenched.
Pg. 9 He had reshaped his essence wrong
Pg. 10 Take a sip of scotch, cough, plan B
Ch. 2
Pg. 11 He knows because he had looked
Pg. 12 Shoes bought in the DR actually made in China
Pg. 14 Angela would disagree
Pg. 14 It looked strikingly similar to?
Pg. 14 On various and unrelated topics.
He thought of geopolitical drawstrings, the Wendy's Commercial with the old lady inquiring as to where she could find some meat. Then he wondered when the new Batman movie would be released until he thought of the construction of the perfect Reuben sandwich. He began envisioning Kofi Annan sitting down to a Reuben sandwich with Tony Blair to discuss the recent explosion of comic themed movies. The two became irritated with a woman making the corned beef on their sandwiches. Apparently she did not think it was the right ratio of sauerkraut to meat.
Pg. 21 To use those exclusively.
Pg. 21 Occasionally he would write backwards in them like Leonardo Da Vinci; but, this would invariably lead to frustration at his poor penmanship and a chastisement of his ego at being so vain.
Habitaciones con Banos
Edits from Book 1
Ch. 1
Pg. 1 - Typewriter type? Fix sentence
Pg. 1. - Overuse of the word, "intentional"
Pg. 2 - Name the nook, something in Latin?
Pg. 3 "and at times, the shallows of his soul"
Pg. 4. Give details of the C-Section
- write a story for the foul mouthed Italian nurse
Pg. 8 The unquenchable emotions were quenched.
Pg. 9 He had reshaped his essence wrong
Pg. 10 Take a sip of scotch, cough, plan B
Ch. 2
Pg. 11 He knows because he had looked
Pg. 12 Shoes bought in the DR actually made in China
Pg. 14 Angela would disagree
Pg. 14 It looked strikingly similar to?
Pg. 14 On various and unrelated topics.
He thought of geopolitical drawstrings, the Wendy's Commercial with the old lady inquiring as to where she could find some meat. Then he wondered when the new Batman movie would be released until he thought of the construction of the perfect Reuben sandwich. He began envisioning Kofi Annan sitting down to a Reuben sandwich with Tony Blair to discuss the recent explosion of comic themed movies. The two became irritated with a woman making the corned beef on their sandwiches. Apparently she did not think it was the right ratio of sauerkraut to meat.
Pg. 21 To use those exclusively.
Pg. 21 Occasionally he would write backwards in them like Leonardo Da Vinci; but, this would invariably lead to frustration at his poor penmanship and a chastisement of his ego at being so vain.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Notes for Urtsiul
Originally written July 21, 2010
Notes for Urtsiul & Kadesh (Qadesh)
1274 BC
Egypt (20,000)
Hittites (40,000)
Syria - crossroads of the Ancient World
Timber, Gold, spices (east)
Copper, Tin (west)
Hittites - Anatolia High lands
Egypt - isolationist
Ramses II 1279 BC
- Builder
- Self-Important
Spear and knife developed from hunting weapons
Metal led to standing armies
Bronze made from copper and tin.
Tin is mined
Tin is rare
Bronze is Cast
Notes for Urtsiul & Kadesh (Qadesh)
1274 BC
Egypt (20,000)
Hittites (40,000)
Syria - crossroads of the Ancient World
Timber, Gold, spices (east)
Copper, Tin (west)
Hittites - Anatolia High lands
Egypt - isolationist
Ramses II 1279 BC
- Builder
- Self-Important
Spear and knife developed from hunting weapons
Metal led to standing armies
Bronze made from copper and tin.
Tin is mined
Tin is rare
Bronze is Cast
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Introduction of Mark Switzer
Originally written July 20, 2010
3. Introduction of Mark Switzer
Mark Thomas Switzer had become the epitome of the apologetic male in the 21st century America. His tail hung beneath his legs and the fiersome wildness that had once defined him was but a shameful memory now. in short, Mark had become domesticated. For awhile it seemed as if Felicia had merely caged the bear, but after a few months he was riding a little tricycle and juggling with a cute pointed hat on his neatly trimmed head. Her success in taming Mark was so profound and so complete that it seemed natural and Mark had not only stopped fighting it, but had embraced it. To the casual observer it seemed Mark's natural disposition, but to Joseph it produced and uneasy feeling like seeing a person whose sex cannot be ascertained - that feeling one has when they debate internally over whether or not they should be attracted to it. However terrible the long lasting effects of turning men into apologizing dandies may be indeterminable at the moment in America. The next fifty years will tell us if the novo homo is a good thing, but in Mark's case the domestication was not only a good thing, it was essential for his very survival.
Mark met Joseph on the first day of college. The two were both literary criticism majors at the school Joseph's dad taught at. The two could not have been more dissimilar. While Joseph fretted over the innumerable variables that could effect the outcome of any and all situations, Mark acted on impulses only. Surprisingly the two became best friends in an incredibly short time, which proved invaluable to both. They acted as a counter balance to one another - a virtual ying to yang relationship. This wonderful checks and balances situation, when it worked, saved both of them on more than one occassion. Unfortunately, the two were equally stubborn so occassionally this system broke down and disaster ensued.
After becoming fast friends Mark convinced Joseph to tag along to an upper class mixer. Like most of their ventures the resultes were rather mixed. Both Mark and Joseph achieved the loss every boy prays for that night, but the night also ended with both, individually needing to sneak across campus without garments to get back to the freshman dorm. The two discussed their exploits and demise - the next day and swore a solemn oath to never bring up the event again. This incident remains one of the very few sacrosanct parts of their lives pardoned from the intense ridicule and humiliation that they regularly visited upon one another.
For all of college and the sum of their brief adult lives the two were best friends. Yet despite this Joseph knew very little of Mark's past. It wasn't that Mark hid anything from his friend just that his outlook was so immediate it excluded not only the thought of future consequences, but his entire life's past. Joseph knew that Mark was from Periora, Illinois. He knew that Mark had a number of siblings. He had met at least two when he visited Mark over one summer and had seen an old family picture of Mark's mom and twelve kids. Mark's dad lived in Georgia, but that was about the total of all Mark had ever said of his family. To Joseph it seemed as if Mark's existence had begun in late August of 2001 when they started college. Mark seemed content with this as well.
One morning during the second semester of their freshman year Mark had woken much earlier than normal. It was still dark out and Mark decided that he would venture for breakfast for the first time all year. Walking to the dining commons he enjoyed the cool April breeze and contemplated the momentary joy he found in solitude. But as the cool April breeze progressed into a bitter last stand for the misery of winter Mark lost all the newfound joy in solitary contemplation and began to hurry to breakfast.
Arriving at 6:02 he was one of the first students to eat that morning. He wasked down the stairs to the buffet style cafetira lines and looked over the morning choices. A sigh of despair escaped his now re-tired mouth and he was ready to forgo this early morning experience when he discovered the waffle machine.
It wasn't exactly the waffle machine that so enticed him, although a craving for this breakfast treat soon arrived in his stomach. it was the waffle machine attendant that so caught his fancy that for a moment he stood transfixed, gazing longingly at the waffle girl.
In his mind he began to swagger over towards the vacant spot in front of her station. As he sauntered in a studly gait the woman began to smile. When he arrived he spoke magnificent words in a rich tone of voice that no 19 year-old boy possesses. The verbage and quality of voice was so powerful, so majestic that the buttons of the waffles girl's blouse undid themselves.
Two perfectly shaped breasts unfolded from the waffle girl's shirt and set with erect nipples pointed directly at Mark. Noticing her exposed self she simled coyly and took the whip cream bottle and covered her dime sized nipples. Without a word she motioned for Mark to partake of the morning delicacy that the frecnh call creme de tit. Mark willingly oblighed the young waffle girl.
But while this fantasy was playing out in Mark's consciousness his subconscious had been been directing his feet towards the waffle girl. For a moment the physically present Mark was noticably absent to the waffle girl. She waited patiently as Mark's focus shifted from fantasy to real world.
After a strange exchange Mark walked away with an undercooked waffle topped with strawberryesque red sticky liquid and seven number scrawled on his hand. The waffle girl would soon become the tenth conquest of Mark's freshman year.
In dealing with women the two friends differed in style and success rate. Mark took a very forward approach to women whereas Joseph constantly looked for a backdoor. However, who was more successful in their early college years is still debated.
Mark had completed his tenth bedquest by the end of his third date with the waffle girl. Within the week of this date Joseph and his girlfriend (Dusty) were breaking up. Joseph and Dusty had begun dating in December and although Joseph enjoyed the idea of dating had lost complete interest in Dusty by March. However, like most men he had found it difficult to end a relationship that provided the regular installment of the ultiment benefit (of course, meaning the emotional attachment). But as summer was approaching Joseph found himself unceremoniously dumped after an expensive date.
But as previously stated the two disagreed to who was more successful. (Argument of quantity vs. quality).
3. Introduction of Mark Switzer
Mark Thomas Switzer had become the epitome of the apologetic male in the 21st century America. His tail hung beneath his legs and the fiersome wildness that had once defined him was but a shameful memory now. in short, Mark had become domesticated. For awhile it seemed as if Felicia had merely caged the bear, but after a few months he was riding a little tricycle and juggling with a cute pointed hat on his neatly trimmed head. Her success in taming Mark was so profound and so complete that it seemed natural and Mark had not only stopped fighting it, but had embraced it. To the casual observer it seemed Mark's natural disposition, but to Joseph it produced and uneasy feeling like seeing a person whose sex cannot be ascertained - that feeling one has when they debate internally over whether or not they should be attracted to it. However terrible the long lasting effects of turning men into apologizing dandies may be indeterminable at the moment in America. The next fifty years will tell us if the novo homo is a good thing, but in Mark's case the domestication was not only a good thing, it was essential for his very survival.
Mark met Joseph on the first day of college. The two were both literary criticism majors at the school Joseph's dad taught at. The two could not have been more dissimilar. While Joseph fretted over the innumerable variables that could effect the outcome of any and all situations, Mark acted on impulses only. Surprisingly the two became best friends in an incredibly short time, which proved invaluable to both. They acted as a counter balance to one another - a virtual ying to yang relationship. This wonderful checks and balances situation, when it worked, saved both of them on more than one occassion. Unfortunately, the two were equally stubborn so occassionally this system broke down and disaster ensued.
After becoming fast friends Mark convinced Joseph to tag along to an upper class mixer. Like most of their ventures the resultes were rather mixed. Both Mark and Joseph achieved the loss every boy prays for that night, but the night also ended with both, individually needing to sneak across campus without garments to get back to the freshman dorm. The two discussed their exploits and demise - the next day and swore a solemn oath to never bring up the event again. This incident remains one of the very few sacrosanct parts of their lives pardoned from the intense ridicule and humiliation that they regularly visited upon one another.
For all of college and the sum of their brief adult lives the two were best friends. Yet despite this Joseph knew very little of Mark's past. It wasn't that Mark hid anything from his friend just that his outlook was so immediate it excluded not only the thought of future consequences, but his entire life's past. Joseph knew that Mark was from Periora, Illinois. He knew that Mark had a number of siblings. He had met at least two when he visited Mark over one summer and had seen an old family picture of Mark's mom and twelve kids. Mark's dad lived in Georgia, but that was about the total of all Mark had ever said of his family. To Joseph it seemed as if Mark's existence had begun in late August of 2001 when they started college. Mark seemed content with this as well.
One morning during the second semester of their freshman year Mark had woken much earlier than normal. It was still dark out and Mark decided that he would venture for breakfast for the first time all year. Walking to the dining commons he enjoyed the cool April breeze and contemplated the momentary joy he found in solitude. But as the cool April breeze progressed into a bitter last stand for the misery of winter Mark lost all the newfound joy in solitary contemplation and began to hurry to breakfast.
Arriving at 6:02 he was one of the first students to eat that morning. He wasked down the stairs to the buffet style cafetira lines and looked over the morning choices. A sigh of despair escaped his now re-tired mouth and he was ready to forgo this early morning experience when he discovered the waffle machine.
It wasn't exactly the waffle machine that so enticed him, although a craving for this breakfast treat soon arrived in his stomach. it was the waffle machine attendant that so caught his fancy that for a moment he stood transfixed, gazing longingly at the waffle girl.
In his mind he began to swagger over towards the vacant spot in front of her station. As he sauntered in a studly gait the woman began to smile. When he arrived he spoke magnificent words in a rich tone of voice that no 19 year-old boy possesses. The verbage and quality of voice was so powerful, so majestic that the buttons of the waffles girl's blouse undid themselves.
Two perfectly shaped breasts unfolded from the waffle girl's shirt and set with erect nipples pointed directly at Mark. Noticing her exposed self she simled coyly and took the whip cream bottle and covered her dime sized nipples. Without a word she motioned for Mark to partake of the morning delicacy that the frecnh call creme de tit. Mark willingly oblighed the young waffle girl.
But while this fantasy was playing out in Mark's consciousness his subconscious had been been directing his feet towards the waffle girl. For a moment the physically present Mark was noticably absent to the waffle girl. She waited patiently as Mark's focus shifted from fantasy to real world.
After a strange exchange Mark walked away with an undercooked waffle topped with strawberryesque red sticky liquid and seven number scrawled on his hand. The waffle girl would soon become the tenth conquest of Mark's freshman year.
In dealing with women the two friends differed in style and success rate. Mark took a very forward approach to women whereas Joseph constantly looked for a backdoor. However, who was more successful in their early college years is still debated.
Mark had completed his tenth bedquest by the end of his third date with the waffle girl. Within the week of this date Joseph and his girlfriend (Dusty) were breaking up. Joseph and Dusty had begun dating in December and although Joseph enjoyed the idea of dating had lost complete interest in Dusty by March. However, like most men he had found it difficult to end a relationship that provided the regular installment of the ultiment benefit (of course, meaning the emotional attachment). But as summer was approaching Joseph found himself unceremoniously dumped after an expensive date.
But as previously stated the two disagreed to who was more successful. (Argument of quantity vs. quality).
Monday, July 19, 2010
Structure of one of the Joseph Flanagan stories
Originally written July 19, 2010
E3 DR-Characters
Brendan - Canadian Treeplanter (Horny Maniac)
Jack - Canadian Treeplanter (Pretentious Philospher)
Derek - Womanizing Alcoholic from Florida
JF
Maxine - 18 year old girl from Tennessee acts 40
Isabella - Peruvian sexpot who plays Brendan against Derek
Theresa - feminist who iddolizes Peter Singer
Plotline so far
1) Awkward double date
2) Brief intro of J.F. Don't contradict or repat Habitaciones Con Banos. Simply condense it.
3) Mark Switzer: DC Bookstore manager. Met JF in college. Both lit majors. Freelance writer for the Onion and a retired homoerotica ezine (under a raunchy surname). Shameless individual.
-Birth
-Manipulation of 3rd grade teacher
-College story or two
-Calmed down in relationship with Felicia
4) Felica Tolley
-Grad student at George Mason University. Studying?
-Birth
-First kiss 17th birthday
-First drunk night on that first kiss night (awful), vows never to drink again
-Keeps vows for four years but breaks it on Jr. Springbreak
-Meets Josh the Pisser story (need to tie Mark into this story as an unlikely Hero)
5) Nicole
-No need to tell of birth of pre-pubescent existence. her story can only be understood following her sexlife. Boys 1-8. J.F. #9. Boys 10-13 (while with) J.F.
6) The Break up
7) NL 2
- The Jara, The Michelle, The Ashley, The Dusty, The Amber
8) The misery of post-breakup
9 The moment of truth: self-help vs. DR
10) First impressions of the DR
11) Training in Santo Domingo
12) Placement in Bayacannes (brief mention of the Habitaciones con Banos
13) The Boys
14) The Girls
15) NL3
16) The idea
17) The Bulgogi
18) Book tour invite/demand
19) Book tour stuff...
20) Meet Danny Gladden on book tour because Danny Gladden is promoting an autobiography
21) NL4
22) Late Night Wal-Mart
23) Insomnia
24) Late night at Walmart
25) End of the book tour
26) New apartment
27) Comedy Central Call
E3 DR-Characters
Brendan - Canadian Treeplanter (Horny Maniac)
Jack - Canadian Treeplanter (Pretentious Philospher)
Derek - Womanizing Alcoholic from Florida
JF
Maxine - 18 year old girl from Tennessee acts 40
Isabella - Peruvian sexpot who plays Brendan against Derek
Theresa - feminist who iddolizes Peter Singer
Plotline so far
1) Awkward double date
2) Brief intro of J.F. Don't contradict or repat Habitaciones Con Banos. Simply condense it.
3) Mark Switzer: DC Bookstore manager. Met JF in college. Both lit majors. Freelance writer for the Onion and a retired homoerotica ezine (under a raunchy surname). Shameless individual.
-Birth
-Manipulation of 3rd grade teacher
-College story or two
-Calmed down in relationship with Felicia
4) Felica Tolley
-Grad student at George Mason University. Studying?
-Birth
-First kiss 17th birthday
-First drunk night on that first kiss night (awful), vows never to drink again
-Keeps vows for four years but breaks it on Jr. Springbreak
-Meets Josh the Pisser story (need to tie Mark into this story as an unlikely Hero)
5) Nicole
-No need to tell of birth of pre-pubescent existence. her story can only be understood following her sexlife. Boys 1-8. J.F. #9. Boys 10-13 (while with) J.F.
6) The Break up
7) NL 2
- The Jara, The Michelle, The Ashley, The Dusty, The Amber
8) The misery of post-breakup
9 The moment of truth: self-help vs. DR
10) First impressions of the DR
11) Training in Santo Domingo
12) Placement in Bayacannes (brief mention of the Habitaciones con Banos
13) The Boys
14) The Girls
15) NL3
16) The idea
17) The Bulgogi
18) Book tour invite/demand
19) Book tour stuff...
20) Meet Danny Gladden on book tour because Danny Gladden is promoting an autobiography
21) NL4
22) Late Night Wal-Mart
23) Insomnia
24) Late night at Walmart
25) End of the book tour
26) New apartment
27) Comedy Central Call
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