(Originally Written July 27, 2010 in The Journal)
Read a bit from each of these every day and take notes.
6 Categories
1. Christian - Early Christian Writings
2. Philosophy - The History of Western Philosophy - Bertrand Russell
3. Classics - The Conquest of Gaul - Julius Caesar
4. History - Archeology & The Old Testament - Alfred J. Hoerth
5. Religion - Pocket Guide to World Religions - Winfried Corduan
6. Literature - Contemporary American Poetry
Notes on Early Christian Writings
Clement of Rome
-Strong Trinitarian Language
-Peace flows from obedience to God. Peace brings with it the healing of all human conditions
Notes on The History of Western Philosophy - Bertrand Russell
Philosophy is the product of two things:
1. Inherited religious and ethical conceptions
2. Scientific investigation
Philosophy lies somewhere between theology and science.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Joseph's First Spanish Joke
Originally written July 24, 2010
Joseph's first successful joke in Spanish: You hablo similar a niño porque yo tengo tres años pero entiendo similar a niño que tiene quatro años. The grizzly looking van driver choked out a laugh while two young attractive Dominicans giggled at one another and spoke to one another with a rapidity that was difficult to fathom, let alone understand. A six year old girl asked her mother why a grown man spoke like her baby brother. That got a bigger laugh than Joseph.
Joseph's first successful joke in Spanish: You hablo similar a niño porque yo tengo tres años pero entiendo similar a niño que tiene quatro años. The grizzly looking van driver choked out a laugh while two young attractive Dominicans giggled at one another and spoke to one another with a rapidity that was difficult to fathom, let alone understand. A six year old girl asked her mother why a grown man spoke like her baby brother. That got a bigger laugh than Joseph.
The Saint and His Dog
Originally written July 24, 2010
It would be a funny story to have a group of friends get into a cab while stoned. The guy in the front should be the worst. The dashboard bobbing dog would attack him after he has a telepathic conversation with a saint airfreshner. He retells the story, "and then that cute, little dog of the saint's jumped off the dash and bit my nose. Naturally I screamed. The cabbie jumped out of his skin, got all pissed and kicked us out.
The Saint's Dog
Brown and White
Maybe a bulldog
But looks friendlier with pinkish, rosy cheeks.
Large black pupills with a greyish eye color. Never takes its eyes off me. Makes me nervous.
Gold chain collar, like some cheap Gucci knock off.
I can stare into its stomach because the head isn't attached.
It's long neck sways his head from side to side (eyes still looking at me). Bump. Head nods with the bump.
It's silence makes me nervous. It knows I'm looking at its gutless innards. It doesn't like it.
The Saint suggests I pet it to make it more comfortable. I do it. The Cabbie yells. Saint and dog go silent. I stare intently at the dog's stomach. It bends its head down to block my view. Eyes ever on me. Saint warns me against it. Saint is protected. He's got a sword. I've got nada. Dog growls. I look at the Saint. He is silent. I look at the Cabbie. Cabbie looks at me. "What the hell is your problem". Pause. "I'll kill you if you puke in here. Is he gonna puke cause if he pukes it's all your asses. I swear to God..." Dog jumps off and bites me. I scream. Laughter and confusion in the backseat. Cabbie is swearing and slamming on his breaks. Boys piling out of back seat. Can't get the seat belt undone. Cabbie yelling. Doors open. Seat belt off. I push the dog. Cabbie screams more. Getting pulled out of the car door. Cabbie is swearing at and slapping at me. Dog's growling. Saint yelling to be rescued. I look the Cabbie dead in the eye. Then I look at the dog. The Cabbie protects the hound of hell. I reach in as fast as I can and rescue Saint and his perch. Cabbie swears more. Laughter. Running away. Saint smiles at me Thanks me.
Note from 9/18/19: I'm not sure if this was originally supposed to be a Joseph Flanagan story or not.
It would be a funny story to have a group of friends get into a cab while stoned. The guy in the front should be the worst. The dashboard bobbing dog would attack him after he has a telepathic conversation with a saint airfreshner. He retells the story, "and then that cute, little dog of the saint's jumped off the dash and bit my nose. Naturally I screamed. The cabbie jumped out of his skin, got all pissed and kicked us out.
The Saint's Dog
Brown and White
Maybe a bulldog
But looks friendlier with pinkish, rosy cheeks.
Large black pupills with a greyish eye color. Never takes its eyes off me. Makes me nervous.
Gold chain collar, like some cheap Gucci knock off.
I can stare into its stomach because the head isn't attached.
It's long neck sways his head from side to side (eyes still looking at me). Bump. Head nods with the bump.
It's silence makes me nervous. It knows I'm looking at its gutless innards. It doesn't like it.
The Saint suggests I pet it to make it more comfortable. I do it. The Cabbie yells. Saint and dog go silent. I stare intently at the dog's stomach. It bends its head down to block my view. Eyes ever on me. Saint warns me against it. Saint is protected. He's got a sword. I've got nada. Dog growls. I look at the Saint. He is silent. I look at the Cabbie. Cabbie looks at me. "What the hell is your problem". Pause. "I'll kill you if you puke in here. Is he gonna puke cause if he pukes it's all your asses. I swear to God..." Dog jumps off and bites me. I scream. Laughter and confusion in the backseat. Cabbie is swearing and slamming on his breaks. Boys piling out of back seat. Can't get the seat belt undone. Cabbie yelling. Doors open. Seat belt off. I push the dog. Cabbie screams more. Getting pulled out of the car door. Cabbie is swearing at and slapping at me. Dog's growling. Saint yelling to be rescued. I look the Cabbie dead in the eye. Then I look at the dog. The Cabbie protects the hound of hell. I reach in as fast as I can and rescue Saint and his perch. Cabbie swears more. Laughter. Running away. Saint smiles at me Thanks me.
Note from 9/18/19: I'm not sure if this was originally supposed to be a Joseph Flanagan story or not.
Some Edits of Habitaciones
(Originally written July 24, 2010)
Habitaciones con Banos
Edits from Book 1
Ch. 1
Pg. 1 - Typewriter type? Fix sentence
Pg. 1. - Overuse of the word, "intentional"
Pg. 2 - Name the nook, something in Latin?
Pg. 3 "and at times, the shallows of his soul"
Pg. 4. Give details of the C-Section
- write a story for the foul mouthed Italian nurse
Pg. 8 The unquenchable emotions were quenched.
Pg. 9 He had reshaped his essence wrong
Pg. 10 Take a sip of scotch, cough, plan B
Ch. 2
Pg. 11 He knows because he had looked
Pg. 12 Shoes bought in the DR actually made in China
Pg. 14 Angela would disagree
Pg. 14 It looked strikingly similar to?
Pg. 14 On various and unrelated topics.
He thought of geopolitical drawstrings, the Wendy's Commercial with the old lady inquiring as to where she could find some meat. Then he wondered when the new Batman movie would be released until he thought of the construction of the perfect Reuben sandwich. He began envisioning Kofi Annan sitting down to a Reuben sandwich with Tony Blair to discuss the recent explosion of comic themed movies. The two became irritated with a woman making the corned beef on their sandwiches. Apparently she did not think it was the right ratio of sauerkraut to meat.
Pg. 21 To use those exclusively.
Pg. 21 Occasionally he would write backwards in them like Leonardo Da Vinci; but, this would invariably lead to frustration at his poor penmanship and a chastisement of his ego at being so vain.
Habitaciones con Banos
Edits from Book 1
Ch. 1
Pg. 1 - Typewriter type? Fix sentence
Pg. 1. - Overuse of the word, "intentional"
Pg. 2 - Name the nook, something in Latin?
Pg. 3 "and at times, the shallows of his soul"
Pg. 4. Give details of the C-Section
- write a story for the foul mouthed Italian nurse
Pg. 8 The unquenchable emotions were quenched.
Pg. 9 He had reshaped his essence wrong
Pg. 10 Take a sip of scotch, cough, plan B
Ch. 2
Pg. 11 He knows because he had looked
Pg. 12 Shoes bought in the DR actually made in China
Pg. 14 Angela would disagree
Pg. 14 It looked strikingly similar to?
Pg. 14 On various and unrelated topics.
He thought of geopolitical drawstrings, the Wendy's Commercial with the old lady inquiring as to where she could find some meat. Then he wondered when the new Batman movie would be released until he thought of the construction of the perfect Reuben sandwich. He began envisioning Kofi Annan sitting down to a Reuben sandwich with Tony Blair to discuss the recent explosion of comic themed movies. The two became irritated with a woman making the corned beef on their sandwiches. Apparently she did not think it was the right ratio of sauerkraut to meat.
Pg. 21 To use those exclusively.
Pg. 21 Occasionally he would write backwards in them like Leonardo Da Vinci; but, this would invariably lead to frustration at his poor penmanship and a chastisement of his ego at being so vain.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Notes for Urtsiul
Originally written July 21, 2010
Notes for Urtsiul & Kadesh (Qadesh)
1274 BC
Egypt (20,000)
Hittites (40,000)
Syria - crossroads of the Ancient World
Timber, Gold, spices (east)
Copper, Tin (west)
Hittites - Anatolia High lands
Egypt - isolationist
Ramses II 1279 BC
- Builder
- Self-Important
Spear and knife developed from hunting weapons
Metal led to standing armies
Bronze made from copper and tin.
Tin is mined
Tin is rare
Bronze is Cast
Notes for Urtsiul & Kadesh (Qadesh)
1274 BC
Egypt (20,000)
Hittites (40,000)
Syria - crossroads of the Ancient World
Timber, Gold, spices (east)
Copper, Tin (west)
Hittites - Anatolia High lands
Egypt - isolationist
Ramses II 1279 BC
- Builder
- Self-Important
Spear and knife developed from hunting weapons
Metal led to standing armies
Bronze made from copper and tin.
Tin is mined
Tin is rare
Bronze is Cast
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Introduction of Mark Switzer
Originally written July 20, 2010
3. Introduction of Mark Switzer
Mark Thomas Switzer had become the epitome of the apologetic male in the 21st century America. His tail hung beneath his legs and the fiersome wildness that had once defined him was but a shameful memory now. in short, Mark had become domesticated. For awhile it seemed as if Felicia had merely caged the bear, but after a few months he was riding a little tricycle and juggling with a cute pointed hat on his neatly trimmed head. Her success in taming Mark was so profound and so complete that it seemed natural and Mark had not only stopped fighting it, but had embraced it. To the casual observer it seemed Mark's natural disposition, but to Joseph it produced and uneasy feeling like seeing a person whose sex cannot be ascertained - that feeling one has when they debate internally over whether or not they should be attracted to it. However terrible the long lasting effects of turning men into apologizing dandies may be indeterminable at the moment in America. The next fifty years will tell us if the novo homo is a good thing, but in Mark's case the domestication was not only a good thing, it was essential for his very survival.
Mark met Joseph on the first day of college. The two were both literary criticism majors at the school Joseph's dad taught at. The two could not have been more dissimilar. While Joseph fretted over the innumerable variables that could effect the outcome of any and all situations, Mark acted on impulses only. Surprisingly the two became best friends in an incredibly short time, which proved invaluable to both. They acted as a counter balance to one another - a virtual ying to yang relationship. This wonderful checks and balances situation, when it worked, saved both of them on more than one occassion. Unfortunately, the two were equally stubborn so occassionally this system broke down and disaster ensued.
After becoming fast friends Mark convinced Joseph to tag along to an upper class mixer. Like most of their ventures the resultes were rather mixed. Both Mark and Joseph achieved the loss every boy prays for that night, but the night also ended with both, individually needing to sneak across campus without garments to get back to the freshman dorm. The two discussed their exploits and demise - the next day and swore a solemn oath to never bring up the event again. This incident remains one of the very few sacrosanct parts of their lives pardoned from the intense ridicule and humiliation that they regularly visited upon one another.
For all of college and the sum of their brief adult lives the two were best friends. Yet despite this Joseph knew very little of Mark's past. It wasn't that Mark hid anything from his friend just that his outlook was so immediate it excluded not only the thought of future consequences, but his entire life's past. Joseph knew that Mark was from Periora, Illinois. He knew that Mark had a number of siblings. He had met at least two when he visited Mark over one summer and had seen an old family picture of Mark's mom and twelve kids. Mark's dad lived in Georgia, but that was about the total of all Mark had ever said of his family. To Joseph it seemed as if Mark's existence had begun in late August of 2001 when they started college. Mark seemed content with this as well.
One morning during the second semester of their freshman year Mark had woken much earlier than normal. It was still dark out and Mark decided that he would venture for breakfast for the first time all year. Walking to the dining commons he enjoyed the cool April breeze and contemplated the momentary joy he found in solitude. But as the cool April breeze progressed into a bitter last stand for the misery of winter Mark lost all the newfound joy in solitary contemplation and began to hurry to breakfast.
Arriving at 6:02 he was one of the first students to eat that morning. He wasked down the stairs to the buffet style cafetira lines and looked over the morning choices. A sigh of despair escaped his now re-tired mouth and he was ready to forgo this early morning experience when he discovered the waffle machine.
It wasn't exactly the waffle machine that so enticed him, although a craving for this breakfast treat soon arrived in his stomach. it was the waffle machine attendant that so caught his fancy that for a moment he stood transfixed, gazing longingly at the waffle girl.
In his mind he began to swagger over towards the vacant spot in front of her station. As he sauntered in a studly gait the woman began to smile. When he arrived he spoke magnificent words in a rich tone of voice that no 19 year-old boy possesses. The verbage and quality of voice was so powerful, so majestic that the buttons of the waffles girl's blouse undid themselves.
Two perfectly shaped breasts unfolded from the waffle girl's shirt and set with erect nipples pointed directly at Mark. Noticing her exposed self she simled coyly and took the whip cream bottle and covered her dime sized nipples. Without a word she motioned for Mark to partake of the morning delicacy that the frecnh call creme de tit. Mark willingly oblighed the young waffle girl.
But while this fantasy was playing out in Mark's consciousness his subconscious had been been directing his feet towards the waffle girl. For a moment the physically present Mark was noticably absent to the waffle girl. She waited patiently as Mark's focus shifted from fantasy to real world.
After a strange exchange Mark walked away with an undercooked waffle topped with strawberryesque red sticky liquid and seven number scrawled on his hand. The waffle girl would soon become the tenth conquest of Mark's freshman year.
In dealing with women the two friends differed in style and success rate. Mark took a very forward approach to women whereas Joseph constantly looked for a backdoor. However, who was more successful in their early college years is still debated.
Mark had completed his tenth bedquest by the end of his third date with the waffle girl. Within the week of this date Joseph and his girlfriend (Dusty) were breaking up. Joseph and Dusty had begun dating in December and although Joseph enjoyed the idea of dating had lost complete interest in Dusty by March. However, like most men he had found it difficult to end a relationship that provided the regular installment of the ultiment benefit (of course, meaning the emotional attachment). But as summer was approaching Joseph found himself unceremoniously dumped after an expensive date.
But as previously stated the two disagreed to who was more successful. (Argument of quantity vs. quality).
3. Introduction of Mark Switzer
Mark Thomas Switzer had become the epitome of the apologetic male in the 21st century America. His tail hung beneath his legs and the fiersome wildness that had once defined him was but a shameful memory now. in short, Mark had become domesticated. For awhile it seemed as if Felicia had merely caged the bear, but after a few months he was riding a little tricycle and juggling with a cute pointed hat on his neatly trimmed head. Her success in taming Mark was so profound and so complete that it seemed natural and Mark had not only stopped fighting it, but had embraced it. To the casual observer it seemed Mark's natural disposition, but to Joseph it produced and uneasy feeling like seeing a person whose sex cannot be ascertained - that feeling one has when they debate internally over whether or not they should be attracted to it. However terrible the long lasting effects of turning men into apologizing dandies may be indeterminable at the moment in America. The next fifty years will tell us if the novo homo is a good thing, but in Mark's case the domestication was not only a good thing, it was essential for his very survival.
Mark met Joseph on the first day of college. The two were both literary criticism majors at the school Joseph's dad taught at. The two could not have been more dissimilar. While Joseph fretted over the innumerable variables that could effect the outcome of any and all situations, Mark acted on impulses only. Surprisingly the two became best friends in an incredibly short time, which proved invaluable to both. They acted as a counter balance to one another - a virtual ying to yang relationship. This wonderful checks and balances situation, when it worked, saved both of them on more than one occassion. Unfortunately, the two were equally stubborn so occassionally this system broke down and disaster ensued.
After becoming fast friends Mark convinced Joseph to tag along to an upper class mixer. Like most of their ventures the resultes were rather mixed. Both Mark and Joseph achieved the loss every boy prays for that night, but the night also ended with both, individually needing to sneak across campus without garments to get back to the freshman dorm. The two discussed their exploits and demise - the next day and swore a solemn oath to never bring up the event again. This incident remains one of the very few sacrosanct parts of their lives pardoned from the intense ridicule and humiliation that they regularly visited upon one another.
For all of college and the sum of their brief adult lives the two were best friends. Yet despite this Joseph knew very little of Mark's past. It wasn't that Mark hid anything from his friend just that his outlook was so immediate it excluded not only the thought of future consequences, but his entire life's past. Joseph knew that Mark was from Periora, Illinois. He knew that Mark had a number of siblings. He had met at least two when he visited Mark over one summer and had seen an old family picture of Mark's mom and twelve kids. Mark's dad lived in Georgia, but that was about the total of all Mark had ever said of his family. To Joseph it seemed as if Mark's existence had begun in late August of 2001 when they started college. Mark seemed content with this as well.
One morning during the second semester of their freshman year Mark had woken much earlier than normal. It was still dark out and Mark decided that he would venture for breakfast for the first time all year. Walking to the dining commons he enjoyed the cool April breeze and contemplated the momentary joy he found in solitude. But as the cool April breeze progressed into a bitter last stand for the misery of winter Mark lost all the newfound joy in solitary contemplation and began to hurry to breakfast.
Arriving at 6:02 he was one of the first students to eat that morning. He wasked down the stairs to the buffet style cafetira lines and looked over the morning choices. A sigh of despair escaped his now re-tired mouth and he was ready to forgo this early morning experience when he discovered the waffle machine.
It wasn't exactly the waffle machine that so enticed him, although a craving for this breakfast treat soon arrived in his stomach. it was the waffle machine attendant that so caught his fancy that for a moment he stood transfixed, gazing longingly at the waffle girl.
In his mind he began to swagger over towards the vacant spot in front of her station. As he sauntered in a studly gait the woman began to smile. When he arrived he spoke magnificent words in a rich tone of voice that no 19 year-old boy possesses. The verbage and quality of voice was so powerful, so majestic that the buttons of the waffles girl's blouse undid themselves.
Two perfectly shaped breasts unfolded from the waffle girl's shirt and set with erect nipples pointed directly at Mark. Noticing her exposed self she simled coyly and took the whip cream bottle and covered her dime sized nipples. Without a word she motioned for Mark to partake of the morning delicacy that the frecnh call creme de tit. Mark willingly oblighed the young waffle girl.
But while this fantasy was playing out in Mark's consciousness his subconscious had been been directing his feet towards the waffle girl. For a moment the physically present Mark was noticably absent to the waffle girl. She waited patiently as Mark's focus shifted from fantasy to real world.
After a strange exchange Mark walked away with an undercooked waffle topped with strawberryesque red sticky liquid and seven number scrawled on his hand. The waffle girl would soon become the tenth conquest of Mark's freshman year.
In dealing with women the two friends differed in style and success rate. Mark took a very forward approach to women whereas Joseph constantly looked for a backdoor. However, who was more successful in their early college years is still debated.
Mark had completed his tenth bedquest by the end of his third date with the waffle girl. Within the week of this date Joseph and his girlfriend (Dusty) were breaking up. Joseph and Dusty had begun dating in December and although Joseph enjoyed the idea of dating had lost complete interest in Dusty by March. However, like most men he had found it difficult to end a relationship that provided the regular installment of the ultiment benefit (of course, meaning the emotional attachment). But as summer was approaching Joseph found himself unceremoniously dumped after an expensive date.
But as previously stated the two disagreed to who was more successful. (Argument of quantity vs. quality).
Monday, July 19, 2010
Structure of one of the Joseph Flanagan stories
Originally written July 19, 2010
E3 DR-Characters
Brendan - Canadian Treeplanter (Horny Maniac)
Jack - Canadian Treeplanter (Pretentious Philospher)
Derek - Womanizing Alcoholic from Florida
JF
Maxine - 18 year old girl from Tennessee acts 40
Isabella - Peruvian sexpot who plays Brendan against Derek
Theresa - feminist who iddolizes Peter Singer
Plotline so far
1) Awkward double date
2) Brief intro of J.F. Don't contradict or repat Habitaciones Con Banos. Simply condense it.
3) Mark Switzer: DC Bookstore manager. Met JF in college. Both lit majors. Freelance writer for the Onion and a retired homoerotica ezine (under a raunchy surname). Shameless individual.
-Birth
-Manipulation of 3rd grade teacher
-College story or two
-Calmed down in relationship with Felicia
4) Felica Tolley
-Grad student at George Mason University. Studying?
-Birth
-First kiss 17th birthday
-First drunk night on that first kiss night (awful), vows never to drink again
-Keeps vows for four years but breaks it on Jr. Springbreak
-Meets Josh the Pisser story (need to tie Mark into this story as an unlikely Hero)
5) Nicole
-No need to tell of birth of pre-pubescent existence. her story can only be understood following her sexlife. Boys 1-8. J.F. #9. Boys 10-13 (while with) J.F.
6) The Break up
7) NL 2
- The Jara, The Michelle, The Ashley, The Dusty, The Amber
8) The misery of post-breakup
9 The moment of truth: self-help vs. DR
10) First impressions of the DR
11) Training in Santo Domingo
12) Placement in Bayacannes (brief mention of the Habitaciones con Banos
13) The Boys
14) The Girls
15) NL3
16) The idea
17) The Bulgogi
18) Book tour invite/demand
19) Book tour stuff...
20) Meet Danny Gladden on book tour because Danny Gladden is promoting an autobiography
21) NL4
22) Late Night Wal-Mart
23) Insomnia
24) Late night at Walmart
25) End of the book tour
26) New apartment
27) Comedy Central Call
E3 DR-Characters
Brendan - Canadian Treeplanter (Horny Maniac)
Jack - Canadian Treeplanter (Pretentious Philospher)
Derek - Womanizing Alcoholic from Florida
JF
Maxine - 18 year old girl from Tennessee acts 40
Isabella - Peruvian sexpot who plays Brendan against Derek
Theresa - feminist who iddolizes Peter Singer
Plotline so far
1) Awkward double date
2) Brief intro of J.F. Don't contradict or repat Habitaciones Con Banos. Simply condense it.
3) Mark Switzer: DC Bookstore manager. Met JF in college. Both lit majors. Freelance writer for the Onion and a retired homoerotica ezine (under a raunchy surname). Shameless individual.
-Birth
-Manipulation of 3rd grade teacher
-College story or two
-Calmed down in relationship with Felicia
4) Felica Tolley
-Grad student at George Mason University. Studying?
-Birth
-First kiss 17th birthday
-First drunk night on that first kiss night (awful), vows never to drink again
-Keeps vows for four years but breaks it on Jr. Springbreak
-Meets Josh the Pisser story (need to tie Mark into this story as an unlikely Hero)
5) Nicole
-No need to tell of birth of pre-pubescent existence. her story can only be understood following her sexlife. Boys 1-8. J.F. #9. Boys 10-13 (while with) J.F.
6) The Break up
7) NL 2
- The Jara, The Michelle, The Ashley, The Dusty, The Amber
8) The misery of post-breakup
9 The moment of truth: self-help vs. DR
10) First impressions of the DR
11) Training in Santo Domingo
12) Placement in Bayacannes (brief mention of the Habitaciones con Banos
13) The Boys
14) The Girls
15) NL3
16) The idea
17) The Bulgogi
18) Book tour invite/demand
19) Book tour stuff...
20) Meet Danny Gladden on book tour because Danny Gladden is promoting an autobiography
21) NL4
22) Late Night Wal-Mart
23) Insomnia
24) Late night at Walmart
25) End of the book tour
26) New apartment
27) Comedy Central Call
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Storyline/Plotline of Habitaciones & Bulgogi
Originally written July 17, 2010
Characters in Bulgolgi (in DC)
Joseph Flanagan:
24 year old male
failing marriage
makes prosthetic limbs and works at a restaurant
Mark Switzer
24 year old male
strange but happy realtionship
Manages a bookstore
Felicia Tolley
22 year old female
college student
girlfriend of mark
Nicole Kelsey Flanagan
22 year old female
crazy
married to, then divorced to Joseph Flanagan
The story opens with the interplay of these four characters
Joseph is introduced in Habitaciones
Nicole should be introduced by her guy timeline. She calls each of these points her "chapters" and is excited to have Joseph as the "final chapter"
Mark is a college buddy of Joseph Flanagan. He should embody the collective U (including HS C. Linehan)
Felicia Tolley
Josh ? The Pisser
Meets Felicia on spring break. Felicia is drunk and messes around with the guy. They have a relationship for 7 months. Josh comes to visit and gets drunk tailgaiting. Felicia goes to take a nap afer the game. Josh gets in bed with her. Keeps lifting back the covers to check out Felicia's cute underwear. Felicia, "dude seriously, I'm trying to take a nap so uh, hands off the merchandise" in a good southern drawl. Josh doesn't take the hint. Felicia goes to shower (locks herself in the baño). Josh passes out and pisses the bed. Felicia wakes him up to go to dinner. She touches his chest, which is soaked. He showers. She discovers he's pissed the bed, put a towell on the wet spot and put a fan pointed directly on the bed. At dinner Josh gets real drunk again. Passes out in the living room. Told to leave the nextday. Josh, "I'm sorry. I just don't understand. Did I do something wrong?" Felicia: "If you don't know honestly I don't know what to tell you. Next day it's discovered that Josh pissed the comforter he slept on in the living room. Three months later the towells he used to clean up the second piss are discovered behind the bookcase when Felicia moves out.
Story Line (linear)
A. - Introduction of 4 DC Characters. Some incredibly awkward double dates between Josh Flanagan & Nicole Kelsey Flanagan and Mark Switzer and Felicia Tolley
NL1 Introductions: Joseph Flanagan, Mark Switzer, Felicia, Nicole
B. The Break up
NL 2 Break up stories 5 or 6 rapid fire
C. The misery
D. The Self-Help vs. The DR
E. Arriving in the DR
E3. DR Characters
NL3 imaginary existence of 4 main DC characters 20 years from now (dramitically bleak) - funny though
E2
E3
F. Leaves the DR
G.
NL 4 Summary of Baseball experiences. 3 parts: playing, watching, collecting (movement of purity to corruption) Mention his unpublished satirical Essay, "Clean Race" or whatever I called it
NL 5 Latenight at Walmart
H.
Z. Gets a call from Comedy Central to do a made for tv movie.
A-D in DC
E-F Stories from the DR
E2-E3 The Bulgolgi
G-H Book tour
Plotline
JF & Nicole break up
JF slips into misery
-pivot point looking at offer to do peace core in DR or read the self help books
JF in DR
The Bulgolgi
JF returns to States
Book Tour
Comedy Central Calls
Characters in Bulgolgi (in DC)
Joseph Flanagan:
24 year old male
failing marriage
makes prosthetic limbs and works at a restaurant
Mark Switzer
24 year old male
strange but happy realtionship
Manages a bookstore
Felicia Tolley
22 year old female
college student
girlfriend of mark
Nicole Kelsey Flanagan
22 year old female
crazy
married to, then divorced to Joseph Flanagan
The story opens with the interplay of these four characters
Joseph is introduced in Habitaciones
Nicole should be introduced by her guy timeline. She calls each of these points her "chapters" and is excited to have Joseph as the "final chapter"
Mark is a college buddy of Joseph Flanagan. He should embody the collective U (including HS C. Linehan)
Felicia Tolley
Josh ? The Pisser
Meets Felicia on spring break. Felicia is drunk and messes around with the guy. They have a relationship for 7 months. Josh comes to visit and gets drunk tailgaiting. Felicia goes to take a nap afer the game. Josh gets in bed with her. Keeps lifting back the covers to check out Felicia's cute underwear. Felicia, "dude seriously, I'm trying to take a nap so uh, hands off the merchandise" in a good southern drawl. Josh doesn't take the hint. Felicia goes to shower (locks herself in the baño). Josh passes out and pisses the bed. Felicia wakes him up to go to dinner. She touches his chest, which is soaked. He showers. She discovers he's pissed the bed, put a towell on the wet spot and put a fan pointed directly on the bed. At dinner Josh gets real drunk again. Passes out in the living room. Told to leave the nextday. Josh, "I'm sorry. I just don't understand. Did I do something wrong?" Felicia: "If you don't know honestly I don't know what to tell you. Next day it's discovered that Josh pissed the comforter he slept on in the living room. Three months later the towells he used to clean up the second piss are discovered behind the bookcase when Felicia moves out.
Story Line (linear)
A. - Introduction of 4 DC Characters. Some incredibly awkward double dates between Josh Flanagan & Nicole Kelsey Flanagan and Mark Switzer and Felicia Tolley
NL1 Introductions: Joseph Flanagan, Mark Switzer, Felicia, Nicole
B. The Break up
NL 2 Break up stories 5 or 6 rapid fire
C. The misery
D. The Self-Help vs. The DR
E. Arriving in the DR
E3. DR Characters
NL3 imaginary existence of 4 main DC characters 20 years from now (dramitically bleak) - funny though
E2
E3
F. Leaves the DR
G.
NL 4 Summary of Baseball experiences. 3 parts: playing, watching, collecting (movement of purity to corruption) Mention his unpublished satirical Essay, "Clean Race" or whatever I called it
NL 5 Latenight at Walmart
H.
Z. Gets a call from Comedy Central to do a made for tv movie.
A-D in DC
E-F Stories from the DR
E2-E3 The Bulgolgi
G-H Book tour
Plotline
JF & Nicole break up
JF slips into misery
-pivot point looking at offer to do peace core in DR or read the self help books
JF in DR
The Bulgolgi
JF returns to States
Book Tour
Comedy Central Calls
A conversation between Joseph and Mark
Originally written 7/17/2010
Mark: Do you see that fuckstick over there? Seriously the dude's got to be 40 and he's drinking a juice box and reading a Where's Waldo book.
Joseph: What is a fuckstick exactly?
Mark: Are you really ciriticizing my vulgarities now? Stop avoiding the topic and focus for a minute. Do you not see the problem the new America is facing these days? Here we are, twenty four year old men, and I say men in the loosest of fashions, sitting in your run of the mill, hipster, Neo-Bohemian coffee shop sipping on lattes and eating donuts discussing the prospect of the new Madden Game. What do we have to look up to? What is there to aspire to? I don't want to be 40, sitting in this same damn coffee shop dirking a juice box reading a Where's Waldo book.
Joseph: What is a prospecti?
Mark: Son of a bitch! Prospecti, the plural of prospectus. Fuckstick, a douche bag male who is doing something utterly inane, pointless and thus - soul killing. Will you pleas drop the philological rebuttals so we can face this looming disaster. Fifty years ago every twenty-four year old was out saving the world from ruthless dictators. We're sitting in a coffee shop. What does that say about us?
Joseph: Did you get soy in your latte? Your girlfriend made me promise that you would get soy or skim.
Mark: I got whole milk like a true, red-blooded human being of the male persuasion. I would have squeezed it out of a cow if I could and bypassed the unwarranted sanitization process altogher. Answer the question.
Joseph: Fine, I thin that we are not saving the world from imperialism because it no longer poses an existential crisis to America.
Mark: Exactly. The existinetial crisis we face is from within. Just from your conotation we can see the problem with every generation since our grandparents'. They fought for freedom from opression and then their hippy scumbag kids got high and reanalyzed and reinterpreted history to show us, their kids, that America fought against imperialism. They told us that imperialism was bad, not just the evil dictators. Imperialism is what made us great and now we have to feel guilty about it and apologize to everyone not born into America. I mean, realistically I'm not saying we need to invade Canada to extend our territory, but we shouldn't have to apologize to the world for being succseful.
Fuckstick: Ha!
Mark: Fuckstick found Waldo. All I'm saying is that the proble is this: High School is the new middle school, college the new high school, grad school the new college. The twenties are the new teens and we can aspire to be 40 with a ridiculous frat tattoo sipping on a juice box looking at the newest Where's Waldo book.
Joseph: My point exactly! This is my greatest fear
(pause)
Mark: You think the game store is open yet?
Joseph: Yeah, it opened twenty minutes ago. I tried to tell you but you went on a sociological rant and criticized my philological angle to the discussion.
Mark: Well, let's get the hell out of here so we can grab the Madden game. Oh, and if Julie asked if it was a decaf, half soy, half skim. It's my new favorite.
Joseph: New favorite drink or lie?
Mark: Is there really a difference?
Mark: Do you see that fuckstick over there? Seriously the dude's got to be 40 and he's drinking a juice box and reading a Where's Waldo book.
Joseph: What is a fuckstick exactly?
Mark: Are you really ciriticizing my vulgarities now? Stop avoiding the topic and focus for a minute. Do you not see the problem the new America is facing these days? Here we are, twenty four year old men, and I say men in the loosest of fashions, sitting in your run of the mill, hipster, Neo-Bohemian coffee shop sipping on lattes and eating donuts discussing the prospect of the new Madden Game. What do we have to look up to? What is there to aspire to? I don't want to be 40, sitting in this same damn coffee shop dirking a juice box reading a Where's Waldo book.
Joseph: What is a prospecti?
Mark: Son of a bitch! Prospecti, the plural of prospectus. Fuckstick, a douche bag male who is doing something utterly inane, pointless and thus - soul killing. Will you pleas drop the philological rebuttals so we can face this looming disaster. Fifty years ago every twenty-four year old was out saving the world from ruthless dictators. We're sitting in a coffee shop. What does that say about us?
Joseph: Did you get soy in your latte? Your girlfriend made me promise that you would get soy or skim.
Mark: I got whole milk like a true, red-blooded human being of the male persuasion. I would have squeezed it out of a cow if I could and bypassed the unwarranted sanitization process altogher. Answer the question.
Joseph: Fine, I thin that we are not saving the world from imperialism because it no longer poses an existential crisis to America.
Mark: Exactly. The existinetial crisis we face is from within. Just from your conotation we can see the problem with every generation since our grandparents'. They fought for freedom from opression and then their hippy scumbag kids got high and reanalyzed and reinterpreted history to show us, their kids, that America fought against imperialism. They told us that imperialism was bad, not just the evil dictators. Imperialism is what made us great and now we have to feel guilty about it and apologize to everyone not born into America. I mean, realistically I'm not saying we need to invade Canada to extend our territory, but we shouldn't have to apologize to the world for being succseful.
Fuckstick: Ha!
Mark: Fuckstick found Waldo. All I'm saying is that the proble is this: High School is the new middle school, college the new high school, grad school the new college. The twenties are the new teens and we can aspire to be 40 with a ridiculous frat tattoo sipping on a juice box looking at the newest Where's Waldo book.
Joseph: My point exactly! This is my greatest fear
(pause)
Mark: You think the game store is open yet?
Joseph: Yeah, it opened twenty minutes ago. I tried to tell you but you went on a sociological rant and criticized my philological angle to the discussion.
Mark: Well, let's get the hell out of here so we can grab the Madden game. Oh, and if Julie asked if it was a decaf, half soy, half skim. It's my new favorite.
Joseph: New favorite drink or lie?
Mark: Is there really a difference?
The Joseph Flanagan Saga
From "Observations of Joseph Flanagan (and More)"
Originally written July 17, 2010
7 Books of Joseph Flanagan
- Philosophy Major
- Author
- Divorceé
- 7 because 7 is the number of completion.
- Books because I don't have a movie camera (or actors)
The Joseph Flanagan Saga
1. Habitaciones con Baños: Joseph reclaims life, divorce and Bulgolgi
2. In search of the World's Greatest Beef Bulgogi: The coping with the divorce
3. The Death of Joseph Flanagan: Seven alternative stories to one outcome
4. A Second Bite at the Apple: Topical Autobiography
5. From the Dominican: Joseph on his peace core mission: gua gua, concho and A-Car
6. Disasters of the All-American boy (childhood stories age 0 - 13)
7. The Arbitrary Last Book of Joseph Flanagan (loose ends of all characters from the other 6 books)
Originally written July 17, 2010
7 Books of Joseph Flanagan
- Philosophy Major
- Author
- Divorceé
- 7 because 7 is the number of completion.
- Books because I don't have a movie camera (or actors)
The Joseph Flanagan Saga
1. Habitaciones con Baños: Joseph reclaims life, divorce and Bulgolgi
2. In search of the World's Greatest Beef Bulgogi: The coping with the divorce
3. The Death of Joseph Flanagan: Seven alternative stories to one outcome
4. A Second Bite at the Apple: Topical Autobiography
5. From the Dominican: Joseph on his peace core mission: gua gua, concho and A-Car
6. Disasters of the All-American boy (childhood stories age 0 - 13)
7. The Arbitrary Last Book of Joseph Flanagan (loose ends of all characters from the other 6 books)
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