(Originally Written April 26, 2008 in the Journal)
May the Lord find favor with His ailing servant. May He forgive me of all my sins and transgressions. May He have compassion on me in my great sorrow. My body aches with pain of heart. How can such things occur? Why must I suffer while the wicked go unpunished?
All men are wicked and evil in spirit and heart. I am no different. Lord only you know the full extent of malice and rage in me. I am weak and failing still. My health deteriorates ever more. I taken no pleasure in food or sleep and find no solace in anything anywhere whatsoever. How have I fallen so far?
Did I not follow you to Canada? Did I not relent and return to Taylor? Did I not submit and forgo my earthly ambitions to allow another's? Did I not give in to you? Did I not submit myself humble and prostrate before the Lord? If I did not I do so now. Find favor with me oh Lord my God. Turn me not away broken and ashamed. Grant me the easy yoke and light burden you promised. Do not break me beyond the point of repair.
All and all though and even still through deeper torment and agony I will joyfully declare the goodness of the Lord to all the world. What are these suffering times in comparison to the eternal glory of the Lord? Who am I to complain of such trifles? I am a child of the living God and heir to the Heavenly fortune. That is sufficient for me. The Lord is more than sufficient; He is abundance. May your name be praised by every tongue on earth and in Heaven. The Lord is good and just and righteous. The Lord is King of all and deals with a soft hand. Though our burdens may seem too heavy the Lord carries on through.
Grant me the strength to venture through today. Grant me the peace to make it through this dark hour of my marriage. Let me feel your love and love at all. I am so alone Lord. Come and comfort me. I beg of you. Take pity on me.
Notes on Leviticus
Chapter 25 - Constitutional laws regarding property
Chapter 26 -
If the Israelites are obedient then God will reward them. He will keep trouble away from them.
If the Israelites will not heed the precepts and commandments of the Lord, the Lord will defy them. He will destroy their nation and their confidence. But he will not eliminate them because of His covenant with them.
Chapter 27
Laws on how to redeem things given out to the Lord.
First-borns cannot be redeemed because they already belong to the Lord.
I am a first-born Lord; I belong to you. You may do with me as you see fit. Do not destroy me if you can spare it. But, if you cannot, I will walk willingly into the flames. For I am yours, forever and ever.
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