A little bit of self censoring never hurt anybody

I don't normal censor much on this blog, but there are parts of journal 26 (October 12 - 24, 2007) when everything in my life was crumbling that serve no purpose reliving. It began with me justifying her actions towards me. I was apologetic for her and basically allowing myself to be the reason she cheated. In the middle I was grasping at anything in Scripture to help me get through, but I was trying to use Scripture as some magic wand that was going to fix everything rather than be my solace through a breakup. By the end of that two week period I was bitter and the remainder of the journal stayed blank for about nine years. There are things in that two week period that I don't have any desire to relive again. I relived some of it in rehab, searching to see if this period of my life had anything to do with why I struggled with alcohol. If it did, it was long buried underneath much more pressing issues. I'm not angry about the situation any more. It's silly to read the times where I was taking on the blame for her actions. The fact of the matter was that I was wronged in that relationship. It isn't fun to remember, but it's meaningless to me where I'm at now. Most of my journals will be saved somewhere in the attic. This one will be disposed of after I get the contents from 2016 onto this blog.